I’m back!

So… it’s been a while!

My last exam was Tuesday and I cannot put into words how free I am feeling right now. I feel grown up all of a sudden and I feel like my life can now finally began after many stalls and halts. I can’t wait for the future and it’s a good kind of nervous that I’m feeling.

Today was my first day of freedom, and it’s strange that I can just do nothing and feel no guilt for not revising or talking to people, I can just live my life and do what I want without worrying about people being annoyed the next time I see them. I’ve reached the stage where, if my friends care enough about me, it could be weeks or months or years before I arrange to go out or we are next available to go out, but they’ll still come and still act the same way towards me. I’ve been waiting for this moment for a very long time and I can’t wait to see who my true friends are, and to meet all of the people I may become friends with in the future! It’s all very very exciting.

A little side note I’d like to make is, how hot has this weather been?! Oh my golly gosh it has been so warm. I’m currently sat in my bedroom with the window open as far as it will go and the fan is on full blast. I haven’t complained much about the heat because the sun being out makes me happy, it’s just annoying when I’m trying to clean or do household chores in my pyjamas and I just feel a sudden sweat coming on… it’s very irritating. But, people abroad need to remember that here in the U.K. We don’t have air conditioning, so when it’s as hot as it would be in say, Mexico, we don’t have air cons on in our rooms after sitting outside. The inside of my house today was probably hotter that outside at one point, I kid you not.
Anyway, summer. My summer plans. This Friday is my prom and I’m actually quite excited because I love my dress and I’m doing my own makeup quite naturally and I feel like it’s a really good representation of who I am. In high school, I didn’t really know who I was in the first few years, but obviously that’s when everyone makes their judgements of you and that determines your high school life for the night five years. For me, I was quite what seemed to be nerdy, and that put a lot of people off because they just assumed I was a “know it all” and from then on people just automatically kept that judgement without attempting to know me (and without realising that I’ve changed since the start of high school, and who I am now is completely different to then). But now, everyone is doing their makeup professionally for prom, they’re getting their nails done, they’re spending hundreds of pounds on a dress they’ll only wear one… but for me, I’m going for a simple yet elegant look and I’m quite happy for once and confident in the fact that I don’t need to look good to feel good and I’ve got nothing to prove. Me looking the most gorgeous won’t change anything, people won’t see me any differently. I want to express myself for who I am so that I can make myself happy and see myself in a beautiful way. 

After Friday, it’s going to be a chilled out week before I start NCS (if you don’t know what this is, I would recommend that you google it) the following Friday. This is four weeks (well, four days out of the week with a three day break before it starts again) of adventure activities, university activities, and community work. I’m quite excited and quite nervous because I haven’t done anything like this with people I don’t know, but it gives me a chance to help my confidence before college. 

After NCS, I have a week of unplanned activities back at home before a week in Cornwall with my family. 

From then on it’s results day and preparation for college to start.

I’m really excited for college. Words can’t even describe how excited I am. I know it’s going to be hard, but I’ve been stuck in a never ending loop for the past five years in the same place with the same people, I’m ready for a change.

I know summer is going to fly by, I want it to but at the same time this is the last summer of my life that I don’t have to worry about anything. I don’t have to worry about a job or money or university or college work over summer, I can just relax and be me and figure out who I am before I go and express myself to a whole new world of people. 

Summer will also give me a chance to figure out what exactly I’m going to do with this blog. I haven’t found the thing that every blogger or YouTuber does that makes their channel so… them, and for me I need to find that before I start doing anything else. I’ve tried the whole fashion thing which seemed to get some attention, but it just doesn’t make me excited to write about. I think I will probably mainly stick to reviews and my opinions and thoughts on things such as movies or books or just general things like the weather and what my weekend has been like. 

The last thing I want to say is, for anyone reading this and wondering why I sound as if I’m talking to lots of people when probably around two people will see this, it’s because I enjoy it. I love to write and I love to talk about things that make me feel passion and excitement. In this world, so many people lack the passion and inspiration to do the things they want to do, and although I don’t know what I want me career to be when I’m older, I know that for right now this is what I want to do.
I hope you’re having a lovely day, and I hope that your summer will be amazing. I hope to see you soon,

Sam x


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